Hazards of a service dog: running errands with a walking disaster

As much time as I spend with Poodleface, sometimes it's just impossible to keep him from ruining himself. And then I have to go out in public with him. 

• One of my first poodle disasters was when there wasn't enough time to finish his haircut and I had to take him to school with some patches of fur longer than others.
• When I had strep two years ago and was too tired to pay attention to him he stole a tube of grape lip balm off my desk and ate it, turning his face and front paws a shade of purple that wouldn't wash out.
• In an art class I took in high school he lay down on a plate of black paint and spent two weeks looking part dalmatian.
• I was writing myself a note on my hand during class while we watched a movie in the dark. A desk tipped over, Poodleface barked in surprise, and I dyed his muzzle blue when I covered his mouth before the ink had dried.